sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm eating all of the evidence.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
