he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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