would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pants are for mortals
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
