Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
