He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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