wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize