she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
