some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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