Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
