Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
