3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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