Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
