He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize