Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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