i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
