Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
