he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
