So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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