what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
