the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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