All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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