This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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