I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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