Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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