I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
