yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
