it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
