Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
