i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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