do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
