We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
