I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize