we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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