why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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