my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
