if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
