I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
