after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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