New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
