You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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