Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
