I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My penis needs a shock collar
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I want is dick and wine.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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