...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
