Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
