There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
