called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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