the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
