ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
