Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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