I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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