the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
