Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
