im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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