it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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