How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
