i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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