Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
