According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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