I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
where does the pee come out of this thing
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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