do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
