It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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