i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why did my mother make you get naked?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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