I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
